Now that the bizarrely romantic or bitter day of Valentine’s (Singles Awareness) has come and gone, I’m left here pondering the current state of love and relationships. Being an observer, I’ve unintentionally put together a flow chart of my friends relationships in my mind. I mean, I’m usually a first hand witness of their relationships’ highlights and well, turmoils. In this mental snapshot of how my friends operate with their significant others, a single question kept appearing, “Do open relationships work or even make sense?”
Our generation undoubtedly has a high level of self indulgence, need for quick access, and an unnatural level of selfishness. It’s for this reason alone, it’s so hard for us to even like being around each other, let alone devoting ourselves into a serious relationship. It adds to the eternal, forever alone, single status of so many of us. Now, egos and attitudes aside, we are also sexual creatures, like overtly-Rihanna Talk That Talk sexual. Put that beautiful mix together, it’s no wonder it takes nothing for most of us to cancel that monogamy thing and be unfaithful to our “boo thangs.” Not saying that I particularly agree with the idea of an open relationship, but here’s why they just might work:
1. Most open relationships allow for emotional intimacy while allowing for sexual variety.
2. Most open relationships require a higher level of trust and communication. Just because it’s open, doesn’t mean it’s an anything goes situation.
3. For those who find monogamous relationships binding and outdated, open relationships allow for focus on other aspects of the relationship without the constant worry of infidelity,
But wait, what’s mine is yours and what’s yours in mine–period. For those of us with this mindset, don’t neglect that no matter what type of relationship, jealousy usually creeps in. Open relationships generally have the same potential to end disastrous. There’s the scenario where only one person acts on the “freedoms” of the relationship, causing insecurity in the other. There’s
also the chance of feelings developing among the outside sexual/platonic relationships that have been allowed. Perhaps worst of all, what if you start to have better sex with someone other than your boo and you become uninterested in them? uh ooooh.
So what do I want? I think no matter what, we all should define what makes us happy about relationships and what we are/aren’t willing to deal with. Setting certain boundaries, while remaining open to our love interests’ wants and needs is always the way to go. Essentially, only you and your significant other can define just what your relationship is and entails. No matter what, open, closed, halfway cracked open, closed on weekends–your relationship is just that, yours. The only thing that should universally be open in all relationships is respect, communication and understanding.
-CJ
What’s your opinion on open relationships?
Definitely a more popular discussion now. I think the question of having an open relationship is more important than the answer. That willingness to be open and upfront with yourself and your partner about what you want. Of course it’s good to both agree (or disagree) with comparable enthusiasm, but just being able to talk about being open without mocking it is a good thing.
Agreed! So many people are closed off to even exploring the ideas of an open relationship or scared to present the idea in fear of ridicule. Thanks for commenting!
-CJ
I totally agree. But what is missing is the truthfulness and up front at the beginning of a relationship. It should be clearly communicated to ones partner at the beginning about open relationship. It can not be understood by only one partner. So you should come to a mutual agreement set boundaries and respect the agreement for it to workout.
I agree with Master Trahan in regards to being truthful and up front in the beginning. However at the end of the day you cannot forget that it is still just another type “ship”. So once you figure out the terms (like you would in any other type of “ship” you may have) Its probably best to remember that you still have to learn relate to that other person and build upon what you have both willingly consented to.
I disagree with open relationships. Through my experience of being married at a young age ( till death do us part)-now a young widow 28 yrs. old ( Single) and dating. My life has been filled with what we call transitions. As stated in your article earlier, it doesn’t matter if the relationships is open or not; your relationships is what you agree to in the beginning or periodically because trust me it will continuously change! ( we are talking about people who emotions/thoughts/decisions aren’t predictable/constant) .
Do you really believe including more people in the equation creates this evolution of partnerships( ummmmm…….. I don’t think so)? In my opinion, it seems like you are opening yourself up to deal with whole bunch of mess. Let’s just call a spade a spade! Ask ourselves this questions why do people get into relationships if there are not ready to be married? I think in order for your relationship to work, you must first be honest ( open) with yourself. As a single person you gain this concept first and learn how to serve others for when it comes to relationships/marriage it’s stating you are ready to be a serving partner ( not selfish). With that being said, if you are ready to be in a committed relationships that will end in marriage, you should be in preparations as a single person ( not when you entered into the relationship) AKA found the persons of your dreams! You should already be putting into practice the type of partner you want to be for your mate, which in the end as stated before the type of persons you want to be! (HONESTY)- Then you don’t have to change or be anyone else and the right matte will come along and love you for the person you are nothing more/less ( it want be hard and you don’t have to change). BUT problems occur, when we are not honest with ourselves and when we are lazy; not willing to work towards it!