6.24.13-omit-exes

Facebook_stalking_to_be_a_thing_of_the_pastWe all do it. It matters not if it’s out of boredom or during a top notch stalking mission, we all peruse Facebook from time to time and mysteriously land on the pages of our exes or past flings. It’s natural, it happens, and is definitely nothing to be ashamed of (or maybe I prefaced that to excuse my own Facebook etiquette). Either way, one faithful night I landed on the page of one of my exes. Now, it had been a while since we had broken up; we were high school sweethearts turned first year at college disaster, she had moved on and I had too. We remained cordial and cool after our breakup and as I clicked around her page I couldn’t help but think well, I’m glad she’s happy. Then I noticed it, a mention on her wall by one of her best friends, a past mutual high school friend of ours exclaiming how excited she was to be planning the upcoming wedding.

Dramatic pause.

She’s getting married!

Longer pause.

Will I be invited?

Slightly not as long or dramatic pause.

Should I be invited? Would I invite her to my own wedding?

Relationships come and go, then, well, another relationship comes and goes. The pattern continues until one day you’re walking down an aisle anxiously awaiting to proclaim your love and life for another in front of everyone who’s important in your life. Of course your parents are there, sure your closest friends from high school and college are right by your side, but should everyone in your past be invited to see you embark on your future? I mean technically, your ex or exes showed you everything you didn’t want and led you to who you are about to be with but again, is it appropriate?

Okay, so I should expect my invitation in the mail because my ex and I remained cool right? Well, not necessarily. Inviting an ex to your wedding can be a very tricky situation for multiple reasons. If the relationship progressed naturally, ended naturally with no resentment or lingering jealousy, the invite might be a no brainer. However, the more complicated the past relationship and the breakup, the more you should not expect that beautifully laced white envelop with the pretty calligraphy written all over it. If you were good to them during the relationship and remained good to them afterwards as well, it’s safe to say you might deserve an invite just a little.

No matter what, the invite to the wedding might not even be a reflection of your past relationship with the awaiting newlywed but might depend on their new love. There is nothing worse than showing up to a wedding and your ex’s future spouse is uncomfortable with your presence. That has the making for a very awkward reception. Sometimes it’s best to realize the past is the past and some situations are just no the most suitable for your ex to be in attendance. It most cases, I’m sure exes don’t really want to be at a wedding watching who they use to love share vows with someone else.

As I anxiously await for either my invitation or to randomly see the wedding photos via Facebook, ask yourself the same question:

Would you be invited to your ex’s wedding?

-Cj

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