Over the past few weeks, I’ve come to the realization that the process of actively dating is tiring. While the prospect of meeting new people is often rewarding and exciting, our generation has turned the act of dating into a game in which we care more about keeping up the illusion that we are emotionally unaffected and possess a seeming refusal to show our true feelings out of fear of being dubbed “weak” or “thirsty”. As a result, we close ourselves off and never truly get to know a person which promotes temporary situations involving temporary people. After a while, these repeated dating failures begin to feel like a never ending cycle of masochism. I’ve grown tired of things that aren’t built to last. I crave a sense of permanence and as of lately, the most perpetual and consistent situations have been found within myself and through connections with people who are already present and permanent fixtures in my life.
Although this may come off as a bitter rant from someone who has become jaded by failed attempts at forming meaningful romantic relationships, it is quite the opposite. I’m not closed off or opposed to the idea of dating. In fact, I have continued to get to know people who I could potentially see a promising future with. I have just reached a point where I no longer have the desire to waste my time nor will I settle for anything less than what I feel I deserve. I have developed a stronger sense of self and understanding of what I am not willing to tolerate. Inconsistency is one of those things that is no longer negotiable.
Additionally, I am very fortunate to have a close knit group of friends that I can turn to for unending love and support. I can honestly say that they have truly enhanced my life and helped me to experience some of the greatest and most memorable moments. It is said that you’re fortunate if you are able to find a good friend. I feel truly blessed to say that I have acquired several and our love for one another is unconditional. Although many of us are in different locations and stages in our lives, we make the effort and find the time to remain ever present in each other’s lives and that is essential to any relationship.
All in all, I feel as though I’m emotionally in the best place that I have been in a very long time and it’s largely due to achieving a sense of self actualization. Once you begin to put yourself first and not rely on the companionship of another, everything will truly fall into place the way that it is supposed to. It isn’t merely an understanding of yourself but a level of comfort with the person you are becoming. It is an understanding that change will inevitably occur and the ability to approach it without fear. It is looking beyond your past failures and not allowing them to define you. It is a restored sense of optimism and ability to overlook the negative things that you will inevitably encounter in life. But most importantly, it is the ability to remain focused on who you truly are. If you have begun to lose sight of who you are, you cannot truly experience genuine love. You cannot open your heart to someone when you haven’t given yourself the same courtesy. You’ll figure it all out in due time but first embrace every new experience with open arms, express and truly feel every emotion, avoid forced relationships that leave you feeling empty and allow yourself to fall in love with life.
Have you fallen in love with life?