There are multiple ways to meet a person and cultivate a relationship that eventually leads to a life partnership. Some meet their significant others in college or high school. Others meet them through mutual friends or by chance encounters at the grocery store. And some meet their significant others through online dating(including but not limited to Match, Tinder, POF). Some are fortunate enough to meet someone and spark an instant connection while others(most) need to work to develop their chemistry.

After watching friends navigate through the dating scene over the years(and gaining some unique experiences of my own), on one hand I’ve seen friendships- and even relationships that were solely intended to be sexual- develop into long-term relationships. And on the other hand, I’ve seen some of the cutest pairs part ways over irreconcilable differences. There’s no guide to finding love in 2015.

The interesting part about love is that it doesn’t come in a “one size fits all” package. Finding love and keeping it requires patience, compromise, and an open mind. A person that you don’t instantly feel a spark with can, with time, grow on you. That’s not to say that you should stick around in a situationship with someone that you have very little interest in with hopes that your interest level may change. If you see no future in sight with a person, then your gut is probably sending you a message, and it’s best not to waste the other person’s time any longer.

But a person can grow on you. Chemistry can manifest itself into something great. And if or when it does, don’t shy away from it in fear that you’re settling. If you’re lucky enough to find someone who makes you happy 90% of the time, settle. You could be settling for the most remarkable adventure of your life. And even if it doesn’t work out in the end, you can say that you tried. You took a chance on the unexpected, and it led to something extraordinary.

I was prompted to write this article based on friends’ success stories I’ve seen over the years. I’ve maintained these friendships because I don’t reveal their stories, but I digress. If I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned that sometimes the best expectation you can have is no expectation. And while that can be a slow learning process for many like myself, it’s not impossible to get there. You may find that as your expectations for love evolve, the kind of person that you’re looking for may change as well. And that person might’ve been there, waiting all along(in a non-creepy way of course).


Do You Have a Success Story from Someone Growing on You?



2 thoughts on “When a Person Grows on You…

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  1. Alex 9 years ago

    “…the best expectation you can have is no expectation.”
    I love that line when it comes to relationships!

  2. Kofi M. 9 years ago

    This is great Aliyah! The interesting part about love is that it doesn’t come in a “one size fits all” package. I wholeheartedly agree with this. Everyone is different and all couples are going to come in different “sizes”. I think we get too hung up on the perfect guy/girl and the “perfect relationship”, that we lose sight of what’s important, which is finding someone to create your own level of “perfection” with. Not settling is important because you don’t want to constantly have that nagging thought of, “what if”, but if they make you “90 percent” happy, then go for it!! It can even develop to a higher percentage over time. My thing is, if you can wake up next to someone, and smile, then you’re in good company.