As we navigate our way through life, it is almost inevitable that we will encounter potentially romantic relationships. Some of these relationships will leave us fulfilled while others leave us convinced that it is our destiny to remain single and adopt dozens of cats. When searching for the “perfect relationship” there are several factors that a person may want to consider before determining that they are in fact doomed to be forever alone.
1. Where did you meet?
Location, location, location…while this generally applies to real estate, it is also something to consider once you begin dating. The setting in which you meet someone can have a tremendous impact on the dynamic of the direction in which things might go. While some people begin dating while pursuing their college education, others opt to find love in a hopeless place (usually in the form of a sleazy, hole-in-the-wall bar, with no drink garnishes and a unisex restroom that appears as though it hasn’t been cleaned since the place first opened) but to each his own. It is important to keep in mind that the quality of the setting in which you meet a person can be synonymous with that person. You must be realistic about your expectations when pursuing someone and this can start simply by recognizing where you’re meeting them. People have even resorted to dating online through the use of sites like e-harmony, christian mingle and strangely enough, craigslist. Personally, I’ve seen too many episodes of Catfish (and lifetime movies!) to ever think that this is a suitable method of meeting someone. However, what works for others may not necessarily work for you.
2.What’s an “acceptable” first date?
At this point, we ALL know that certain things are not acceptable for first dates or any dates for that matter. If you are questioning whether or not it is acceptable to have a date at a fast food restaurant then you are a lost cause and may need to ponder some of your life choices. For those of us who learned that fact of life before middle school, there are certain standards that we often uphold when it comes to a first date. But what is an appropriate first date? It truly depends on both parties involved. While many people like the typical date consisting of dinner and a movie, others prefer dates that are creative and lack convention. For that reason, you can’t truly say that a date is not acceptable unless it results in you standing before a cash register determining whether you’d like a small, medium or large sized meal.
3. Is there a rule of thumb for a first kiss?
Many people have a romanticized idea of how they’d like their first kiss to be and place great emphasis on the importance of how it takes place. But what determines what makes a first kiss perfect? And when is it appropriate? This is all relative to the people who it involves. There are times when you just know that it is appropriate based on the vibe. However, it is easy to misread what may appear to be obvious signs that the time is right. So what do you do? While some find it awkward to ask for a kiss, others find it to be endearing. That is unless you are turned down… then you’ve just created an awkward situation and it’s pretty safe to assume that there won’t be another date. A first kiss should probably take place when it is completely obvious that both people are ready…be that after the first date or after seven.
4. How many dates before you’re officially “talking”?
Urban Dictionary defines “talking” as a time when two people are not exclusive with each other nor have established what they are as a couple, but have some sort of relationship. Yes, Urban Dictionary is a very reliable source. To expand upon that, it is also a time where people have expressed their interest in continuing to get to know each other better with the goal of potentially moving forward. While I hate the notion of “talking” it can’t be denied that it is definitely a legitimate stage of dating. But how many dates do you go on before you’re actually talking? In reality, there is no definite answer. You can begin this period after one date or you can go on several dates without ever entering this stage. However, it is important that BOTH people agree that they are in fact talking. If you define your situation before consulting the other person, you may end up getting your feelings hurt. At no point do you want to make things out to be more serious than they actually are because you’ll end up looking crazy and clingy and nobody likes a clinger.
5. Is it ever too soon to make things official?
This is entirely subjective. I typically don’t like to rush into things. In fact, when I begin to feel that things are being rushed in a specific direction, I am scared away and turned off to the situation. However, that does not apply to everyone. Some people develop feelings or form bonds at quicker paces. That doesn’t necessarily mean that their feelings aren’t genuine. However, if you’re on your first date and someone is attempting to make things official before the server takes your order, leave and immediately head to your nearest police station to file a restraining order because you clearly have a crazy on your hands.
Dating is something that you have to approach with an open mind but not a lack of common sense. It should be clear that there are certain things that are not acceptable when attempting to take that next step with someone. Your preferences also play a major role in the success of your dating life. There are essentially no rules to dating but that does not mean you shouldn’t consider certain things before agreeing to put yourself out there. After all, you should never walk into any situation without considering all of the possibilities. You must look both ways before crossing the street.
What are some factors you consider when dating?
-Jordan
