Delete, Delete, Delete
The words of advice most commonly used right before you remove a person from your Facebook friends when they post something that you disagree with. But it’s also used when removing something else…
When my last situationship ended a few months ago, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with this person’s information in my phone. While I pretty much know this number by memory, it was much more painful to scroll through my text messages and see his name. It became difficult for me to see his face pop up on my Instagram news feed. At these moments I felt like the delete button and I were about to be well acquainted.
A couple of my friends urged me to just do it- get it over with and I’d feel so much better once I removed every trace of him from my life(or at least my phone…well, same thing).
I contemplated pressing that ‘delete’ button for days. Would it take this burden of emotions, hurt, and regret off my shoulders? Would it at least prevent me from seeing when he was moving on and dating other women? Treading that line of mixed feelings- wanting to erase the last few months but not wanting to live with the mystery of not knowing whether or not he was finding happiness before me. I couldn’t decide which was worse. The decision consumed me for a couple of days, but there were a couple of factors I needed to consider before I made the big decision.
Don’t let social media dictate your happiness
We’ve all been guilty of this. Using social media as our barometer of how we’re doing in different facets of our lives be it professionally, romantically, or otherwise. Yeah, stop that. You’re only hurting yourself. Social media is not a reflection of who people are- it’s a portrayal of who they want you to think they are. Displays of affection that show up on your timeline are very small previews of a person’s life. So the next time you see your ex boyfriend/girlfriend post that photo of them hugging someone tightly on instagram, just know that there’s a good chance they had an argument right before the camera flashed or that the person in that photo may not even be around next week. But even if that’s not the case, and this person is going to be around, that’s okay too.
You can’t move to the future if social media is keeping you in the past
Login to your Facebook account and go to your search box. Start to type in the name of the person you just recently dated, maybe the first and second letter. If their profile pops up Instantly, that means one of two things:
1. They have a very distinct name that is different from any of your other Facebook friends
2. You’ve visited their page entirely too many times recently
And the same applies for instagram. When you feel the urge to go to their page, put the phone down and find another activity. Join a yoga class(something that has helped me tremendously and I’d recommend to anyone), join a running club, or just say no. You’ll start feeling much better when you forget that instagram name or just choose to stop looking.
I’ll let you practice now as you take your new steps to emotional freedom and happiness. Watch the video below – that prompted me to write this piece – and then focus on you. Find your peace, whatever that means to you, and realize that an ending to a situationship is just a break in your journey. It’s a time for you to reflect and make peace with where you are in your life. Know that it’s possible for someone to stay in your mind and your heart but not necessarily your life. Accept that. Love you. Delete, delete, delete…or don’t.
Just know that your happiness lies far beyond that phone screen.
I use social media to stay connected with my family and friends. I do find myself losing hours of my day looking at it but it doesn’t dictate my happiness at all or keep me in my past.
I think that social media gets a bad rep when it comes to relationships because it is so new. We don’t know how to really handle it yet. I enjoy social media for blogging and connecting with friends. I also met my husband online.
That is so good to know about such facts that can help you and you have to know about it .
I think this is so true. Some of us don’t let social media dictate our lives but so many people do. They are constantly checking out other people’s lives and letting it dictate their emotions. And that can be said for keeping tabs on an ex. So certainly you have to figure out what social media means to you and how to manage it for your happiness sake.
We have to remind ourselves f that when the electricity goes out and phones goes dead, our real community is who will be there. Those who have our best interests at heart and do not care for the number of online friends we have or whether we are influencers or not but love us for us. No one is responsible for our happiness but us.
I do use social media a lot, mainly to connect to friends, family and for my blog. But I don’t let it dictate my happiness. Because not everything on social media is real. And real life is so much more important!
I’m happy that my ex doesn’t have social media. lol Lately with these facebook “on this day”, it has been getting to me, but I look, smile and move one. I used to let others’ lives put me in a funk, but now I just celebrate them. They’re sharing it because they’re happy. I used to do the same…
As a blogger, I have to be on social media. But honestly, I could do with out it sometimes. It’s fun to stay connected to friends and bloggy boos though.
Social media is like any other tool, it’s great when used properly and for what it’s intended. It only becomes a problem when it’s abused and used improperly.
I get it. I’ve been there. I am still Facebook friends with two men that I dated. It’s hard to see them sometimes, but I feel like I want to know what’s going on with them…even if it’s not with me anymore. Both were painful break-ups and that makes it harder (sometimes) to see them on Facebook. Maybe one day I will unfriend them. #LifeHappens
I spend lots of time on social media for work and honestly, just to zone out a bit. When I met my husband social media wasn’t what it is now. I can imagine that it’s tough to navigate relationships as prevalent as social media is now.
Social media is for my business life, not my social or personal life, that is how I approach it, lol…it can be hard when I spend so much time on it but I try not to let it dictate me #brownbloglove